Dealing With Marriage Problems? How Marriage Counseling Help To Overcome Your Relationship Problems


Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, understand and resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences, problem solve and even argue in a healthier way.

Counseling helps in overcoming problems in a relationship, most marriages and other relationships aren’t perfect. Each person brings his or her own ideas, values, opinions and personal history into a relationship, and they don’t always match their partner’s. Those differences don’t necessarily mean your relationship is bound for conflict. To the contrary, differences can be complementary, you know the saying about opposites attracting. These differences can also help people understand, respect and accept opposing views and cultures.

Enhance your love map– Happy couples know the love map of one another, they know all the details about their partner’s likes and dislikes, what is your partner’s favorite TV show, what food they like and what stresses them out. Without knowing the love map can’t really know your spouse when you don’t really know someone how you can really love them. To enhance your love map find out what don’t really know about your spouse. By asking questions like; who is your partner’s best friend? Relatives your partner like least? What is your partner’s basic life philosophy? Your partner’s hopes and aspiration? Family relations and other things.

Nurture your fondness and relationship– this is perhaps the most important principle of all, to have a natural fondness and admiration for each other it is important to have a positive view of each other. To see their fondness and admiration is how they view their past. If they view it in a positive light they are more likely to have a bright future and if they view it in a negative light then the relationship is in trouble.

Appreciation is essential to have a good relationship with the couple. Write down three of your partner’s good characteristics and the incidents related to the same, and then rate your list to each other.

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Let your partner influence you– Happy couples work as a team and consider each other’s feelings and perspectives. They listen to each other and make decisions together by searching the common ground, it is identified that men are more likely than women to ignore their partner’s perspective when tackling problems together, they exert too much power and women are open to being influenced by their partner’s perspective. E.g. if one of the partner want to spend 2 lakh Rs. on a new car and other want to spend the same on a holiday abroad, at this time of conflict take a deep breath and listen to each other. Show empathy, don’t criticize and really think about our partner’s viewpoint.

Solve your solvable problems– There are two types of problems in a relationship solvable problems and perpetual problems. It will be hard to tell the difference, some points to understand both are-

  • Solvable problems are less intense, they are situational and there is no underlying conflict. When you feel that argument is going out of hand, let your partner know and suggest taking a break out of the argument and go for a walk, or read a book, be tolerant of each other’s faults.
  • Perpetual problems can be understood by an e.g. Husband wants to spend more time with friends, the wife feels lonely all the time. Husband says he needs time away from her because he feels suffocated by her. Now, this is a perpetual problem, there is a core difference in their personalities and what they need from each other to feel connected. The difference is unlikely to change they have to be willing to accept and adapt if they want their relationship to thrive.

Create shared meaning– Shared meaning will enhance your life by bringing you together, their two ways you can create shared meaning.

Create rituals of connection, this could be anything which brings you together, things you do on a regular basis such as sharing a morning routine, celebrating as going out as a family, eating out together once a week.

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